FOOD FOR THOUGHT
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WHAT I OWE MY MOTHER:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
' Because I said so, that's why.'
5My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shop with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
'You'll sit there until all that SOUP is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER ..
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do..'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP .
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR .
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me..'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22 My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favourite:
My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you '
This is amazing......
Two German Brothers Have Put This TRAIN SET Together.
BE SURE to click on the link at the end and view this in motion.
This is the world's biggest train set.
Covers 1,150 square meters / 12,380 square feet
Features almost six miles of track and is still not complete
Twin brothers Frederick and Gerrit Braun, 41,
began work on the 'Miniature Wunderland' in 2000.
The set covers six regions including America , Switzerland ,Scandinavia , Germany , and the Austrian Alps.
The American section features giant models of theRocky Mountains, Everglades , Grand-Canyon etc
...and Mount Rushmore .
The Swiss section has a mini-Matterhorn.
The Scandinavian part has a 4ft longpassenger ship floating in a 'fjord' .
It is expected to be finished in 2014, when the train set wouldcover more than 1,800 square meters / (19,376 sq ft) andfeature almost 13 miles of track, by which time detailed models of parts of France, Italy and the UK would have been added
It comprises 700 trains with more than 10,000 carriages and wagons.
The longest train is 46ft long.
The scenery includes 900 signals, 2,800 buildings, 4,000 cars - many with illuminated headlights. ..
....and 160,000 individually designed figures.
Thousands of kilograms of steel and wood was used to construct the scenery...
The 250,000 lights are rigged up to a system that mimics night and day by automatically turning them on and off.
The whole system is controlled from a massive high-tech nerve centre.
In total the set has taken 500,000 hours and more than 8 million euro to put together,
the vast majority of which has come from ticket sales.
Gerrit said: "Our idea was to build a world that men, women, and children can be equally astonished and amazed in."
Frederik added: "Whether gambling in Las Vegas , hiking in the Alps or paddling in Norwegian fjords - in Wunderland everything is possible. "This 4-minute video is worth watching for this amazing stuff.
Now....click below to see it all in action!!!
http://www.miniatur-wunderland.com/exhibit/video/4-minutes-wunderland/ <http://www.miniatur-wunderland.com/exhibit/video/4-minutes-wunderland/>
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An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading a tired old mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat.
He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, can you dance?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No son, I don't dance... never really wanted to" A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now!" and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody standing around was laughing.. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled 12 gauge shotgun and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 12 gauge barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said; "Son, have you ever kissed a mule 's ass ? The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir... but.... ................................................... I've always wanted to" There are a few lessons for all of us here: *Don't be arrogant. *Don't waste ammunition. *Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are. *Always make sure you know who is in control... *And finally, Don't screw around with old folks; they didn't get old by being stupid.... |
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Clinging
on for
dear
life to
the side
of a
vertical
cliff,
the tiny
lion cub
cries
out
pitifully
for
help.
His
mother
arrives
at the
edge of
the
precipice
with
three
other
lionesses
and a
male.
The
females
start to
clamber
down
together
but turn
back
daunted
by the
sheer
drop.
Eventually
one
single
factor
determines
which of
them
will
risk her
life to
save the
youngster
–
motherly
love.
 The drama begins: The mother arrives at the edge of the cliff as her son cries out for rescue after being trapped when he slipped.  On the brink: Four lionesses look over the edge before aborting their rescue mission because of the sheer drop.
Slowly,
agonizingly,
the big
cat
edges
her way
down
towards
her
terrified
son,
using
her
powerful
claws to
grip the
crumbling
cliff
side.
One slip
from her
and both
animals
could
end up
dead at
the
bottom
of the
ravine.
 Just as the exhausted cub seems about to fall, his mother circles beneath him and he is snatched up in her jaws.
She then
begins
the
equally
perilous
journey
back to
the top.
Minutes
later,
they
arrive
and she
gives
the
frightened
creature
a
consoling
lick on
the
head.
T
he
dramatic
rescue,
captured
by
wildlife
photographer
Jean-Francois
Largot,
was
played
out in
Kenya ’s
Masai
Mara
game
reserve.
Despite
the
presence
of
wardens
to deter
poachers,
day-to-day
life for
the
lions is
not
without
its
dangers
… as the
cub
learned
the hard
way.
Rescue
mission:
The
mother
inches
her way
down the
cliff
face to
rescue
the
terrified
cub
before
locking
him in
her jaws
and
making
her way
back up
the
cliff
face.
 Motherly love: The mother gives her son a lick to say that all is well in the pride following the drama. |
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The world's
highest chained carousel, located in Vienna, the height of 117 meters.
Thor's Well - "the
gates of the dungeon." CapePerpetua, Oregon. At
moderate tide and strong surf, flowing water creates a fantastic landscape
Emerald Lake in the crater of an extinct volcano. Tongariro National Park -
NewZealand
Restaurant on a cliff on the east coast of Zanzibar.
Depending on the tide the restaurant can be reached both on foot and by boat.
Office of Selgas Cano
in Madrid
Desert with Phacelia
(Scorpion Weed). Flowering
once in several years.
Balloons in Cappadocia.
Dubai. The view from the skyscraper BurjKhalifa. The height of buildings is 828
m (163 floors).
And this is the view down
These trees grow in the forest near Gryfino,
Poland. The cause of the curvature is unknown
The border between Belgium and the Netherlands in a cafe
Twice a year in the Gulf of Mexico rays migrate. About 10 thousand stingrays
swim from the Yucatan Peninsula to Florida in the spring and back in the fall.
In the resort town of Skagen you can watch an amazing natural phenomenon. This
city is the northernmost point of Denmark, where the
Baltic and North Seas meet. The two
opposing tides in this
place can not merge because they have different densities.
In the Chinese province of Shandong is a bridge across the Gulf of Jiaozhou.
The bridge length over 36 km is calculated for eight car lanes, and is the
longest sea bridge in the world.
Day and night. The monument in Kaunas, Lithuania
An unusual tunnel in
California's Sequoia National Park
This statue, created
by Bruno Catalano, is located
in France
Family photo
The longest traffic jam in the world recorded in China. Its length is 260
kilometers
Paris computer games store. In fact, the floor is absolutely flat.
Marcus Levine - slaughtering an artist in the literal sense. He creates his
paintings by nailing a white wooden panel. At his latest
series of paintings exhibited in a gallery in London,
Marcus has spent more
than 50 000 pieces of iron.
In the city of Buford (USA) lives just one person. He works as a janitor and as
a mayor.
Autumn camouflage
Haus Rizzi - Germany.
Lena Pillars. Russia, the Lena River.
Banpo Bridge in Seoul, South Korea
Favelas of Brazil. The boundary between wealth and poverty.
Lost paradise in the Indian Ocean. Isle of Lamu.
Balcony of floor 103 in Chicago.
From the outside it looks like
View of the sunset from inside the wave.
This is a unique geological phenomenon known as Danxia landform. These phenomena
can be observed in several places in China. This example is located in Zhangye,
Province of Gansu. The
color is the result
of an accumulation for
millions of years of red sandstone and other rocks.
üÔÏ d
In northwestern Montana, USA. The water is so transparent that it seems that this is
a quite shallow lake. In fact, it’s very deep.
Airport in the Maldives is located on an artificial island in the middle of the
Indian Ocean
Lighthouse guard in Mare, France must be one of the most courageous people on
the planet!
Not everyone will have a smoke in such weather, and in such a place!
Photo of storm in Montana, USA, 2010
Skyscraper-Crescent Crescent Moon Tower (Dubai)
Heavy fog in Sydney,
which enveloped the whole city
The river above the river: Magdeburg Water Bridge,
Germany.
Morning Glory - kind of clouds observed in the Gulf of Carpentaria in northern
Australia
Gibraltar Airport is one of the most extraordinary airports around the world .......
RON
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The Bridge
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said,
'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'
God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.' The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy. God replied: 'Do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?" |
To Be 8 again!
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed,
watching his wife
who was looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off he asked
what she'd like to have for her birthday.
'I'd like to be eight again', she replied,
still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose
early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco
Pops, and then took her to Adventure World
theme park. What a day! He put her on every
ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall
of Fear, the Screaming Roller
Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the
theme park. Her head was reeling and her
stomach felt upside down. He then took her
to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy
Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda
pop, and her favorite candy,
M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband
and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and
lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like
being eight again?
Her eyes slowly opened and
her expression suddenly changed.
'I meant my dress size, you f@*#*!
retard!!!!'
The moral of the story: Even when a man is
listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
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NOW THIS IS TALENT
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POEM by George
this is the story of a lady who teases
and all the fans she pleases
her body makes our hearts pound
so curvy so firm and so round
but she really doesn't show much
just her in stockings and such
her nipples have not seen the light of day
she keeps them hidden far away
on a car in a chair or in a bed
her legs she will gladly spread
but the only lips she shows
are the ones under her nose
some say it's because she's shy
but i think she is very sly
get a video or photoset
and it is a safe bet
that many a load will be shot
cause this woman is hot
a lot of men and some ladies
would like to see more of Mercedes
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Mercedes, I have been told
was better than any auto sold
so I went on her site
found out they are right
after watching her on youtube
my ball joints needed a lube
the way she handled the curves
really soothed my nervers
from bumper to bumper
a real heart thumper
from 0 to sexy in the wink of an eye
makes you want to give her a try
all that beautiful chrome
why not drive her home
her headlights are big and bright
and she keeps them out of sight
her compact yet spacious trunk
is not loaded with of junk
when she opens her throttle
she will pass every other model
J.D. Powers rated best in class
proves Mercedes is one fine piece of ___machinery
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A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?" (You'll love this) God replied: "Heck, I didn't recognize you." |
